N.E.R.D.S Easter Special - Part 3

HERE IT IS, THE STORY YOU'VE ALL BE WAITING FOR! IT ALL ENDS HERE! Holy onto your hats and tea, it's a long one! (And the last story from Superdorkism to go up on this blog). 

Part 3: The End of a rather moderate journey.

In the darkness, PowerPaige didn't expect to see much. What she was expecting, however, was a bigger role in this story then the one she'd had so far. I mean; what the hell? Practically the Wonder Woman of this universe, founding member of N.E.R.D.S. And puts up with Wey-Man regularly, surely she'd get a bigger part? It didn't matter, Uly was getting loads of shit off everyone for not having posted the Easter Special and taking forever to master the eloquence of this totes amazeballs story. To open up, it even had some inner monologuing and a great description (which is coming in the following paragraphs).

Like most dungeons Uly writes about, this place was damp, cold, dark and a very suitable place to fornicate and for no one to find out. (What the hell has he been writing for THAT to be a part of this description. Oh man, I'm so shit at building up suspense. If you want a deep, meaningful thriller read the Jester's story). It had cuffs attached to long, thick, rusting chains which went on for miles it seemed. PowerPaige felt that this dungeon was a perfect design for Super-Giant and not them. She put her Mother Hen skills together, looking at every part of the dungeon. To her right – Pun Man and Wey-Man. To her left, Captain MindMash. And...Captain Cymru?! An unexpected twist!

Damn it, she began in italics to indicate it's in her head, this plot lacks so much consistency that not even the characters can follow it! We're all in this dungeon, a new character's been thrown in here too and aren't we meant to be in Willy Wonka's factory? WAIT, WHERE IS WILLY WONKA?!

And suddenly. She looked down. And for suspense to be built, it's a different scene.

--

Super-Giant, 00J and Cranium Steele were all riding on motorbikes. Well, 00J was flailing about on a moped and Super-Giant couldn't fit on a real motorbike so he'd taken a huge 50ft model from the top of those stores - like the doughnut model from Simpsons - and had started to ride it. Turns out they don't actually come with real engines. Cranium Steele, being all metal and sh*t had his guitar turn into a motorbike. The point is - this is a badass opening that doesn't need to be ruined by any logic, okay?!

Oh man, it's way past Easter and this is super-late! Began Super-Giant's inner-monologue,. I mean---we're never going to find Willy Wonka's factory! It's been way too long with no Pun Man in this story, which sucks 'cause Pun Man and me are best buds, they fight crime together all the time and go to each other’s houses!

As he inner-monologued, they were then shot at. Blowing up the moped that 00J residing upon, she fell to the ground with the moped crushing her. Super-Giant knew she'd be paralysed already thanks to him - this could indefinitely paralyse her and she could be a comicbook character stuck in a wheelchair just for diversity! He leapt off his own bike, saw Cranium Steele had already blasting back at the black trucks on the other side of the road. There were explosions and little plot and awesome stunts like a Michael Bay film except without ruining Pun Man's childhood/patriotism!

Flipping and turning, Super-Giant was actually pretty vulnerable when it came to bullets. Though small like Year 7s, they could do some real damage. He began to grow in height so that the bullets appeared smaller (or maybe he shrunk the rest of the universe -- WHO KNOWS??) And then began to bounce off. Crainum Steele had tripped to sort the Trucks by shouting loud German in his German accent (long story short: it involved a "Nazi-Ray" and he can't get his normal accent back) and jumped onto one of the bonnets and it skidded to a halt. The gun men and driver were odd looking.

As he stared intently at these mysterious henchmen of sorts, Super-Giant quickly leapt to 00J's side and removed the moped by putting it in his pocket. He looked at her with his deep, large brown eyes and he raised an eyebrow as he grinned helping her to feet. Maybe it wasn't just MindNumbing Miriam who wanted some D, ehy? Carrying on with this awesome, action-packed adventure, 00J and Super-Giant dashed over to Cranium Steele was trying his best not to laugh at what was facing him. When Super-Giant looked he burst into laughter and even grew a couple of inches too before he was in such shock.

An orange face, green haired creature with too much make-up (similar to an average Year 8 Girl [hiyoooo]) was staring up at them with a machine gun. And of course if you know your filmography as well as the Jester, it was obvious that this was an Oompa Loompa! 00J was amazed, this creature was a perfect marksman and she was surprised to even see someone who had the ability to slave away making chocolate also have perfect gun skills. Super-Giant then amazed Cranium Steele & 00J by suddenly doing hand gestures. The Oompa Loompas replied.

“Holy non-Easter! What're you doing to make 'em do that, Super-Giant?” 00J went. He scowled before answering, implanting the idea THAT HE'S BEEN BUSY, OKAY?

“I can speak Oompa Loompa!” He replied. The other two burst out laughing. “I can! I played Willy Wonka in a production once and then suddenly swapped brains with Willy Wonka! I know all these guys!”

“What're they saying then? You've left the reader long enough--” Cranium Steele began.

“YES. I GET IT. I'VE BEEN LATE WITH THIS PART.” He said begrudgingly. Before he could answer Cranium Steele's, the crashing of a dangerous driver arrived and stumbling out of a rather bruised car came the Jester, MindNumbing Miriam, STD Man and B.E.T.H.

“Geez, we're almost as late Super-Giant has been with this part coming into this story! To think that a FORTNIGHT ago I said that we're on the same plot point--” The Jester mocked. He then smiled at his familiar tall friend. “We stole a car. I'll get you to talk to a Judge about it later, right?”

“*Sigh* Yes, Jester. Good to have some friends. Got past the Easter Bunnies?” He asked them, they nodded. “STD Man, I want to get ready one of the most annoying STDs ever. Not necessarily lethal but, itchy at least.” Though it wasn't commanded, STD Man got the hint. He began to spin his around right around (don't ask how he can do that) and talk to 00J to catch her up about what had happened to him. Everyone was shocked over the fact that Super-Giant was considering torturing these villains, all except 00J. (The Jester thought it was awesome).

“What DID they say then?” Cranium Steele asked again.

“They wouldn't tell me anything. I asked them where their master is. They swore allegiance to the Easter Bunny and say that at any moment, back-up will be arriving.” Super-Giant informed, then pulled out his mobile, waited for 3G to get on this Part 3 to show what the above said to fill in Jester and the others. The Oompa Loompas were rather nervous because frankly: if someone could spin their hands 360 that's off putting enough but if it was Curtis, wouldn't we all be -censored by comics code-? Super-Giant hand signalled explaining what he was doing, they all began to squirm before quickly making several hand gestures about what was planned.

“Right...Ok...OH my God! That's TERRIBLE!” Super-Giant cried and turned to his fellow superheroes. “Okay, that's enough, STD Man. Listen to me: this is big. The Easter Bunny has taken every piece of chocolate in the WORLD and has tried to make the most irresistible chocolate that even the smell, that's right the even just the smell now, is enough to return us to primal instincts and kill one another. But worse than that, he's taken the best factory in the world for chocolate, Willy Wonka's and has managed to overthrow him and now uses Bunnies to mind control them. Because EVERYONE knows Bunnies that CAN'T talk are psychic!”

“What? That doesn't make any sense!” MindNumbing Miriam protested and suddenly everyone was shot back by the MindNumbingness (except 00J but she decided to not ruin the story).

“Worse than that...They've kidnapped superheroes! A certain selection – I don't know why these few but it obvious has a reason to it. The way I wanted to get to Willy Wonka's factory, the same way I'm sure the Jester was going to use, Hollywood, has been blocked off.” Super-Giant explained.

“WHAT?!” Jester angrily shouted. For one thing, he was confused how they went from Wales to Hollywood but he was so impatient and wanted to get on with it he left that. “B-but...That Bunny is gonna' die!”

“Has anyone noticed that Super-Giant didn't do this many hand gestures?” Cranium Steele asked. “I mean—Ich bien himmel!”

“So how do we get there?” STD Man asked.

“I have to grow tall enough to go to Heaven and ask the creator of Willy Wonka: Roald Dahl.” Each character had a dramatic close up to their face before quickly finding themselves on the ground again but now: Bunnies and Oompa Loompas suddenly swarmed all over the other heroes as Super-Giant went into the skies above. 00J decided, as Co-Administrator (and the Jester avoiding responsibility) to take command. Blasting her file rays a couple of times, she then began to shout order for the other heroes.

“Okay, defend Super-Giant's ankles! He's tall enough he'll crush all of North Wales, the Midlands and probably reach Finland! Cranium Steele, MindNumbing Miriam: you take on the Oompa Loompas, Jester and STD Man you two take on the Bunnies! Only you two can stop them as STD Man can destroy their sex drive and Jester is heartless enough to kill Bunnies!” This was very true, he nodded. Everyone carried on doing back flips and shooting laser guns or MindNumbing people with boring stories about their day or use Guitar Riff so they had awesome background music to help them beat the ever mother living -censored by CC- out of the Goons.

The conversation between Super-Giant and Roald Dahl is a rather personal one. Thus, I don't think it can quite be put into words correctly. What will be said is that it was probably the most least stressful Super-Giant had ever been in his life. The conversation took place between like two old friends in a London cafe outside on a rare Summer's day when it's not raining, they enjoyed some tea and chatted about long times past and couldn't wait 'till that Evening Do that would be coming up where they would enjoy drink, food and good company once more with an even bigger group of friends (who they'd analysed individually, pointing out flaws but then saying “oh he's/she's lovely really”) then finally it ended and little did Super-Giant know but no other cup of tea would ever live up to that. Or any meeting he'd ever have with anyone, for that matter. Shrinking down to normal Giant size (see what I did there?) and attacked some of the enemies.

“I know where Willy Wonka's other entrance is!” He bellowed, which actually knocked a few bunnies back as they began to overflow. Everyone was demanding to know where. “QUICKLY, JESTER, YOU DRIVE! Steal that abandoned bus: we have to go towards Buckingham Palace and then make a sharp turn and there should be a dimensional vortex that'll lead us straight there, if we can convince one of the bunnies to--”

“On it.” STD Man said, terrorising one of the Bunnies.

“Wait, when did Buckingham Palace come so close to Hollywood?” Someone questioned. I'm sure the reader questioned it so we'll say someone in the story did too.

“When – -censored by comics code- you, that's when.” Super-Giant said. They leapt onto the bus and 00J sat next to Super-Giant to plan a strategy.

As the bumpy journey began, Super-Giant raised his big eyebrow. “You know I'd not actually torture that Oompa Loompa?”

“Yeeeah. You're Super-Giant. But I think sometimes it should be 'Giant-Super' 'cause you're just that much of a moralistic superhero.” She gave a half-smile. They then planned out the boss battle. But, unless you check a walkthrough, it never goes to plan...

MEANWHILE!

PowerPaige was screaming. The eye was uncomfortable because it was looking up and now, was moving. A couple of other superheroes woke up. They were shocked by their surroundings and were sure since the last part there was a change of prison. Before getting an opportunity to pontificate on the lack of continuity they saw a figure beginning to shape in the darkness. It was a bunny, no, it had a long top hat and they were pretty sure a purple colour scheme. The figure could've been a fancy Super-Giant it was so big, they were awfully confused.

“Holy -not censored by the Comic Code because Pun Man doesn't swear-!” There he was; Willy Wonka as a mutant monster. Quickly, Captain MindMash had a flashback.

Captain MindMash's flashback: WARNING – THE FOLLOWING IS PRETTY TRAUMATIC AND IT IS HIGHLY ADVISED THAT YOU DON'T TREAT THIS AS THE REAL CHARLIE & CHOCOLATE FACTORY STORY.

“Willy Wonka was renowned for his beautiful chocolate and immaculate elegance in the art of chocolate making, he was a true master. That's how history will remember him anyway, because that was in the past. The distant past.

Truth is, he got into a pretty horrific accident. 'twas a year ago now. Willy had just told Charlie that he'd won his factory. It was all well and dandy, that is up until Easter the following year. Wonka had this extraordinary idea for an Easter bunny that could walk but didn't think. Now, that's pretty damn morbid, but ey, he meant well and he felt it'd appeal to a new market. Hell knows what market that was. Anyway, he tried to make a 'prototype' of this 'walking Easter chocobunny' only, the ol' fool forgot to put a lid on the chocolate mixture, within minutes there was molten chocolate all over the floor.

The whole place was evacuated and the Oompa Loompas were taken to safety and so were Charlie's family. But Wonka refused to let his factory burn down. Wonka ran in to try and salvage his secret chocolate recipes from the safe he had behind the picture of his father in the study. Before he knew it, he had been engulfed by the mixture. Apparently the Oompa Loompas cried when they heard his screams from the factory. 4 days it took to let that place cool down. 4 days of mourning and sadness. But on the 5th day, when the body of Wonka was to be found and buried, the air felt different.

It wasn't until I walked into the study that I saw it; it was hideous! It had large, sharp teeth and a pulsating vain at the neck, below the neck was something that only a few men could bare to stand. He was all disfigured, as if someone had broken all of his bones with a mallet and reassembled them with tape and prit-stick. The eyes were golden and the left eye was much more gazing than the other, which gave the impression that he was looking for something in particular as if more focused. His nose was somewhat misshapen also, it was smaller and definitely more animal shaped, but it didn't match the skull, which was lumped on the left hand side like someone had twisted his head so that his face would bulge at certain points.

I could tell it was Wonka by the large purple hat that still stood on its mutated disfigured head, with a huge rabbit ear penetrating one side. His clothes, although ripped, clung to his body as if he were Dr Hyde in rage mode. He didn't attack, as would be expected. All he did was stand up tall and stare at me with a definite sadness to his face. Obviously in so little time, he'd been angry and also come to terms with what had happened. 

This was astounding because any other man would have murdered or gone more berserk but not Wonka. Wonka had taken his rage out on the already destroyed factory study which was coated in chocolate and blood, but also smashed apart like a tornado had torn through. My god, the blood on his body though, he looked like what could only be described as a beastly apparition of the Easter Bunny. As soon as he had remembered who I was, he reached behind him, to where he had been sitting on the floor before my arrival, and handed me a revolver. He nodded at me, and even though I was speechless from seeing this, I understood what he had wanted. Having said that, I still wept as he leaded towards me and whispered with his oddly shapen mouth something along the lines of 'Thank you Charlie' 

As I raised the pistol, I caught sight of a letter that was partial sticking out of the study table, which unlike everything else in the room, wasn't completely ripped apart. I had to know what was in there, so while Wonkas eyes were closed, I tip-toed to the draw. All of a sudden he whipped his body around and gave me a really angry, hurt stare. Before I could grab the letter or fire the Pistol, I was thrown into wall, and he leapt through the ceiling from what I could gather. All whilst screaming odd things out of his badly mutated mouth. He had escaped into the world. I could do nothing about it. So I read the letter;

My dear Charlie,

You, my boy are my treasure. I am proud of all you have done so far. But this accident has caused my body to shape oddly. It's been a day, and I am still trapped here. But by the time you've read this, I will hopefully be dead. The factory remains yours, insurance will pay for the rebuilding of the factory. I am sorry that I put everyone in danger. I just had a brilliant idea, that's all.

Yours faithfully,
your friend, W. Wonka.”

And somehow or another, a lot to Captain MindMash made sense but he didn't quite speak up about it just yet.

Suddenly, Captain Cymru broke free, things could've been good. But he had purple eyes and flew up into the air. They were all in shock, how could Captain Cymru founding members of N.E.R.D.S and superhero/superpatriot betray all of his comrade superheroes?! But, naturally, PowerPaige figured it had to be mind control. She saw right up above there was a small glass screen where the Easter Bunny looked in with small bunnies at his side concentrating incredibly hard. Arthur Weasley – AKA Adam – was up there too with purple eyes following orders, along with S.M.I.T.H who was monitoring computers!

“They've got Adam! And S.M.I.T.H. This means they basically have any computer ever!” PowerPaige shouted to the others.

“Holy Deadpool! I can't believe this, here I was playing XCOM now this!” Wey-Man shouted. “We're going to die at the hands of a mutated Willy Wonka and Captain Cymru, I can't -censored by CC- believe this!”

“WILLY ya be quiet, you WONKA!” Pun Man said, beginning to regain more consciousness. (Tom takes a while to get up. Seriously one time he slept over and got up at like 2PM). Everyone cringed. The mind control of the Bunnies was too great and it seemed like the end but suddenly – a familiar figure from the 70s/80s appeared.

“NEIL DIAMOND!” Everyone shouted in surprise but happiness. He was flying on a stage with Go-Go Dancers and huge speakers blasting out various lines from his songs and he was playing a Guitar solo before quickly jumping up and attacked the Willy Wonka by kicking him in the face and then quickly, he got shurikens to cut down the heroes and they all landed upon the stage. All of them set out to attack using a variety of methods except Wey-Man who was angry over this extreme random event and lack of continuity.

“This makes no sense!” He protested.

“I'm friends with Super-Giant, see. And O'Leary, he's observed your actions but refused to get involved but not eaten any Easter eggs yet so we can't say that it's not Easter 'till he does. Anyway – I decided to get involved 'specially since Super-Giant helps me go on tour!” He said before releasing another wave of Neil Diamond attacks. They all had begun to overwhelm the huge Willy Wonka which angered the Easter Bunny. Captain Cymru came onto the stage and then a duel struck between him and PowerPaige.

She, a tough Mother Hen, threw some punches. But suddenly, Adam had activated a spring trap inside the Dungeon causing spikes to fall from the ceiling. She was hit by a spike which gave an upper hand to Captain Cymru. He suddenly began to use his mighty Rugby player strength to deliver some tough punches. In rage, PowerPaige simply began to shout for Adam and of all the cool stuff they'd done together hoping he could hear and could find back, remembering who he truly was.

“Please Adam, it's me!” She began with Sweet Caroline on in the background. “It's me, PowerPaige! The one who saved you from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal or from Bad Joke or from your Year!” And just before another punch could be delivering, a swooping strike from Willy Wonka, Adam quickly stopped both Bunnies controlling Willy Wonka and the Great Welsh Boyscout. He then quickly turned to S.M.I.T.H. Who was then released from his mind control, reprogramming whatever the computers were saying.

Now it was a case of waiting for the others to arrive and rescue them.

The others had found themselves getting through the dimensional vortex, with little patience via the author to describe that experience they crashed into the Chocolate River falling in from the ceiling the bus slowly sank into the river and nerves were high. It was Super-Giant who had the idea of jumping out of the emergency exit and turn huge to drink some of the Chocolate River. Everyone suddenly exhaled deeply in relief but their time to relax was cut short when suddenly another swarm of Oompa Loompas greeted them grabbing each of them and lifting the entire crew up to a red and golden throne on the edible grass.

“Mwahahaahahaha!” A high-pitch voice laughed manically. The noise worse then that of MindNumbing Miriam's MindNumbing or the sound of JanJan's creature 'The Banshee of B2'. But as horrific as it was, they couldn't help but burst out into laughter when, revealing himself from a small hot air balloon, came the Easter Bunny.

“What? What are you all laughing at?? Damn you, you will all pay!” The Easter Bunny squeaked. “I've caught you and you 'little' friends, Super-Giant. Aha, I should add that to the books for New-Pun Man!” Already, Super-Giant could tell the plot was about to get a little more complicated.

“Presenting...The New N.E.R.D.S! I reckoned I'd need something to get someone to steal all this chocolate and not link this to I, are treated as a loser by Santa and Dave-Star of Hanukkah!” He said, though everyone questioned that last bit about Hanukkah. Suddenly, a group of half-bunnies half-humans rose from the ground. Everyone looked horrified as these disfigured creatures with pink fur and rather large ears. Their friends – Pun Man, PowerPaige, Captain MindMash and Wey-Man – appeared as the horrible creatures. Everyone had a close-up with a dramatic gaping face and tears even began to be produced.

“Now, S.M.I.T.H., get the transporter working! I believe it's time to get Captain Cymru here!” Super-Giant was shocked. Captain Cymru?! He was one of them, damn it! They all awaited. And suddenly, some Bunnies were surrounded the throne of their master and Oompa Loompa guards had gathered. 00J looked to her comrades and saw how still their Team Leader was. The Jester was trying to break free mostly because he hated being held down, STD Man's hands had been trapped so he couldn't give anyone an STD, with others being just simply tied up. Easter Bunny smiled but this was hard to tell due to his buck teeth Bunny teeth.

“OOMPA LOOMPA! Check why Captain Cymru is taking so long! Bunny N.E.R.D.S: shall we select our first victim of the Ultimate Chocolate?” The Easter Bunny cried, everyone objected by suddenly someone was chosen: B.E.T.H.

“No, please! She was just added in so The Jester and I could do something cool/STD Man could be added into the story!” MindNumbing protested but it was too late, the bunny N.E.R.D.S quickly grabbed her and then opened her mouth with a small piece of chocolate getting put into her mouth. Suddenly, her eyes began to flare as if she also (like Miriam) wanted the D, it was incredible! They could see that she'd lost self-control and was not just wanting to have more of this chocolate, flailing uncontrollably.

“She's having a fit! Shouted The Jester.

“No...It's the chocolate, Jester, it's the best. He using it for his Ultimate Easter Egg to make the world selfish so that he can drive us all mad, MAD I tell you!” After this adventure, Super-Giant got a list of complaints from different copyrighted materials being evoked. They saw that B.E.T.H was rather despondent. The Easter Bunny laughed and laughed, infuriating Super-Giant even further. He was a superhero, he hated seeing innocent people (and the Jester) get hurt by anything! He had to DO something before the Easter Bunny got away! But before he could have time for a plan, Captain Cymru teleported close by.

“Now my mindcontrolled Welsh man, supposedly that time in the dungeon where we got to try and convince your Welsh-Spirits that it was okay to listen to the Bunnies' bidding! Attack your former friends Captain Cymru!” He cackled but this time: enough was enough. Brewing with German slurs, Cranium Steele had an urge to try to summon the spirit of rock 'n' roll but instead he settled on the next best thing: a blue-spirit image of Jack Black sprouting out of his body, killing Oompa Loompas and Bunnies before then freeing the superheroes.

“Thanks, Sir Black!” He cried, as is the Rock Underworld Jack Black was a knight. Vanishing, the heroes broke free and Super-Giant was quick to order.

“00J – you go and find S.M.I.T.H, he'll know the cure for this! Everyone else: take down as many of these Oompa Loompas and Bunnies so Captain Cymru can be free: EASTER BUNNY'S MINE!!!” He shouted with exclamation marks and all. Everyone leapt into battle doing several badass things such as punching or kicking of some sorts in very creative ways (just picture them all doing cool things and what not). Suddenly, as STD Man was about to punch Captain Cymru he noticed him winking. A ploy had pulled, pulled like how Eilir pulls in College!

The fight continued, with battles continuing but suddenly – a huge Willy Wonka mutated figure ripped right through the set and destroyed half of the Chocolate Garden. He was surrounded by a stage of Neil Diamond, Pun Man, Wey-Man, PowerPaige and Captain MindMash all ready to blast in and fight some serious crime. This did however confuse the other N.E.R.D.S members as they were expecting some long winded process, not just to see that these Bunny Copies weren't mutated version of their friends but just failed twisted clones that had been made. But wanting to see some end to this rather chaotic story they rolled with it.

“How EGG-citing!” Pun Man shouted on the stage before jumping down and helping attack the enemies surrounding. The Jester eye rolled then fired several bullets at his adversaries and blood came gushing from their wounds. More of the heroes from Neil Diamond's stage joined and Neil Diamond simply releasing cannons from the side of his stage as he mauled several Bunnies and Oompa Loompas. Suddenly, B.E.T.H was finding herself going savage over the chocolate and couldn't be stopped, not even by MindNumbing Miriam. There was a lot of fighting and Super-Giant was engaging in a tough battle with the real Easter Bunny.

“How can you do this?!” He shouted between the punches, “you're a holiday symbol! A good person!”

“Don't you see, Super-Giant? I'm ALWAYS treated as some strange creature and that you humans expect so much from me—”

“We don't expect anything from you, our parents get the chocolate! Catholics, Prostestants, they all celebrate separately! What the hell do you think we want?”

“My People's lifeforce! Chocolate is how talking-Bunnies such as I from a talking Bunny planet survive! We don't eat it, we collect eggs and store them for energy! After all this, you will all kill after one tiny pieces of chocolate!!!” And just as the brawl continued and as blood splattered out of Super-Giant's mouth, an ingenious marketing idea struck him.

“I guess you could say that was one heck of a CHOC!” Pun Man bellowed as he punched one of the Bunnies. With Captain MindMash beginning to really swirl their heads around and Captain Cymru helping out, Tomos felt it was appropriate to go and see how his friend Super-Giant was getting on. 00J and Cranium Steele had began to try and stop B.E.T.H, 00J shouted over to STD Man.

“Did you get a sample of any of this stuff?” (She'd read part 2 on her Ipod so was just double checking). He nodded. “Hand it over!” STD Man threw over the sample and just because the story's getting too long, it landed perfectly in 00J's hands and she pulled out a small chemistry set and began to examine its properties. “Aha! It has a strange molecule structure to it, I have only one way to counter-act it but I don't think anyone's going to like it...Wey-Man! I want you to kill the mood! Everyone, just whine about your problems around B.E.T.H!” Everyone stared but they attempted it.

“Supposedly, with MindNumbing Miriam's MindNumbingness radiation spreading, along with all of ours it should snap someone to their senses. Then if we get S.M.I.T.H to reprogram B.E.T.H's brain she'll forget about the whole experience and then get that thought spread via MindNumbingness radiation it should work!” She cried. This made no sense but for the sake of all that's sane, the plan was set to action. Pun Man joined Super-Giant as he was struggling to beat the final boss. The first thought he could think about (also helping 00J's plan) was: DAT FEEL WHEN YOU CAN'T BEAT THE FINAL BOSS. Before Pun Man could do anything, he noticed Super-Giant trying to engage conversation.

“If you sell this market value of chocolate at around...2.50 a pop? Then people will buy less of your resources and then still get an incredibly satisfied feeling! You can talk trade agreements with Willy Wonka's factory and then the Oompa Loompas can make it, along with Bunnies regulating.” He began. Pun Man smiled: it seemed peace was about to be made. However, this was then shattered when Captain MindMash turned up behind Pun Man and shouted to Super-Giant.

“No, wait! You don't understand: The Easter bunny mutated Willy Wonka because...CHOCOLATE ARE LIKE DRUGS, NOT AN ENERGY RESOURCE! I remember now: Wonka was his dealer and I know all this because the accident was so MindMashing that it's almost like one of my memories!” And suddenly Super-Giant's faced looked so pissed off that if he spoke then the entirely of the paragraph would have to be censored. He violently began to punch the Easter Bunny, who could really feel it and Super-Giant was growing inside. As the MindNumbing waves were getting stronger, Super-Giant was just ignoring it and managing to attack the enemy with quite a bit of gore involved.

“Super-Giant, stop!” Everyone cried. Immediately he realised what he was going. He let down his punches, shrunk to a normal size and got off the Easter Bunny.

“N.E.RD.S....Thank you. Now, let's get this place cleaned up.” He said, wandering off. Pun Man tried to get his attention but he ignored it. 00J also did the same, grabbing him by the arm as the other heroes began to clear the perimeter.

“Super-Giant--” She began.

“This isn't the place or time to discuss this. But all I can say is: Easter Bunny drew the line between dark/egdy and parody. And for me, that's a big thing.” He said sternly with his most serious face ever before nodding to Neil Diamond and walking off. Each member of N.E.R.D.S managed to clean the place up and get Arthur Weasley and S.M.I.T.H from the back. Captain MindMash went to see Willy Wonka, who wasn't doing too well but the Lord Helsby quickly talked to him and the chocolatier reppeared smiling and rather happy (yet terribly disfigured). The other bunny mutations joined Captain MindMash's side, declaring him their “Daddy.”

Each hero then got aboard the Flying Stage owned by Neil Diamond and they all stood: Pun Man, STD Man, 00J of DITZ, Cranium Steele, The Jester, MindNumbing Miriam, Wey-Man, PowerPaige, Arhur Weasley, S.M.I.T.H, Captain Cymru, Captain MindMash and his bunnies, B.E.T.H and Neil Diamond heading out of the factory and into the open air in a epic pose. Though they all wondered where Super-Giant had left to they didn't say anything to ruin the mood and atmosphere. The only thing that could truly be said, a thought shared by all was:

“Easter Bunny's chocolate isn't good. And also: this is one hell of a long Easter this Year...”

THE END(?)