The Spider-Man Films: My Way! (Part 1)

Bare with me, Non-Comicbook Nerds, this is probably going to be full of such Nerdom is may explode your mind. (Gosh, sorry, that's so condescending isn't it? Well it's just really full of lots of Comicbook Nerdom and it'll be rather referenced to Comics!).

Max Landis, this awesome Nerdy Writer/Director who also doubles up as a Superman commentator on Youtube, released a 42 minute long video on what he would do if he could idealistically write Superman's Death + Return. It really evoked something within me to get up and talk about my favourite Superhero Spider-Man. But Not talk about a revamp of Arcs (though I do have a couple of ideas and new stuff too!) instead, let's talk about comicbook films. For those of you who don't know, I've got my issues with comicbook superhero films coming out.

While I loved the blockbuster known as the Avengers, as an avid Comic fan I feel they're catering to new fans because they feel like we'll never be satisfied. There's a lot of sides to this argument and basically, I've just embraced the fact I'm a Nerd and a purist and I like it like that and hate seeing my characters getting translated just to pander to someone. But anyway -- I wanna talk about Spider-Man already! If you don't know, Spidey's my favourite superhero ever simply because of all the nostalgia connected to him and the fact I can relate to him and that he is amazing. 

While I thoroughly enjoyed Amazing Spider-Man, I have my doubts over it. There's been talk of adding in MJ, Harry Osborn, a roster of Villains and following Peter's Parents story without using SHIELD (which is vital if you know your stuff - though I guess what you could do is use the CIA. Basically, they were spies in the...Cold War? I think and they were called traitors when really, they weren't).

But there seems to be too many plot lines running around trying to abridge 50 years worth of history into 3-4 films. And that is where Sony is going wrong. Because to be honest? That IS impossible.  Okay, so to point out, this is if every character in the Marvel U was linked under Marvel Studios. I'm not sure if I'd set it in the same 'verse as the Avengers right now as I'm not sure where the Cinematic 'Verse is going buuut just assume that every character can legally co-exist with the other. 

This would mean a lot of being able to utilise a lot of Superheroes within the Spidey films but I don't really do it for that, it's for the access of the vast universe. DC Comics maybe as big as Marvel but Marvel had a tendency to really be branched out thus creating convoluted threads of plots and characters. It's why I think it's always harder to write fanfic/RP of Marvel because it doesn't seem to have anything straightforward. Characters are at 4 places at once on a ridiculous level. 

Anyway, I have a trilogy in mind as things in 3 are lovely (except shoes and relationships and a few other things, now that I think about it). I have names: Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-Man, Spectacular Spider-Man and finally Ultimate Spider-Man. In the first part of the blog post (if between all the bloody parenthesis and digressions) I'm going to talk mostly about "Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man." I say mostly, I mean I am going to talk about Friendly Neighbourhood Spider-man. By now I think if you’re going to see a Spider-Man film everyone knows Great Power Comes with Great responsibility and Uncle Ben dies at the hands of a robber Peter chose not to stop when he could’ve. (Oh no, spoilers!) 

Anyway; this origin is very straight forward. While I enjoyed ASM’s handling of it and love Martin Sheen, I really am getting tired of the need to patronise an audience, giving them an origin that isn’t a necessity any more. So here’s what I’d do: let’s start a Spider-Man film from a year on or so from his origin point. He’s been Spidey a year or so, done the whole wrestling thing and has seen Uncle Ben die. Life is pretty great – he just stops average crooks except that Kingpin guy; boy what a creep!

However, Spider-Man hasn’t met any super-powered crooks. Sure, he’s come across some weirdass Irish guy called Will O’Wasp and a couple of other weird guys like that but nothing exactly out-of-the-ordinary.  The film opens to Spider-Man just chasing some goons/beating bad guys and NO inner-monologue. It pains me to say that because frankly, Spidey needs his inner-voice narrating and it’s been essential for the stories to continue. However, we just hear a Police radio, then sirens and suddenly some rather dramatic playful music before suddenly; Spider-Man enters the scene! And is full of playful jokes and is a badass. 

We then sort of get him rushing to go and do something for Aunt May but being late, yet again. “Oh Peter!” We hear as usual and then there’s somewhat laughter. 

There’s sadness among them as it’s the day Uncle Ben died and if Hollywood really wants to cater to the “fresh audience” then we get an explanation/flashback as to what happened. This just fills in and then Peter Parker goes off and realises he better get to school (he’s just been on a “paper round” that he doesn’t get any money from…) and immediately, we’re introduced to Pete’s friend Harry, who despite being very popular uses Pete for answers to tests but has found his company very honest and pleasant.

There’s a scene in class with Flash Thompson picking on Peter, Harry half-sticking up for him, Liz Allan (Flash’s girlfriend) also taunting Peter, then suddenly a redheaded girl sticking up for Peter quite fiercely but before he takes any real notice, Pete can’t help but stare at the blonde haired girl in front of him. She’s known as Gwendolyn Stacy and Peter thinks the whole freaking world of her. The redhead? She’s Mary Jane Watson and has been Peter’s friend for a looooooong time. 

While I do love me some 616 MJ (the mainstream comics-verse) I also happen to love a bit of the early Ultimate Spider-Man MJ who portrays her as more nerdy. So for the films, for various reasons, she shall be a nerd who’s close with Pete. Then there are a couple of mentions: Randy Robbertson, whose Father works for the Daily Bugle and a quiet kid called Hobbie Brown who hates everyone. 

I’d really spend some time trying to flesh out some of these characters in just a few scenes, nothing too special. We’d get through that and it’d be nothing too special, all except the interactions of Harry, MJ, Peter and Gwen. Harry will hit on Mary Jane a lot, she’ll deflect and Peter will mumble around Gwen. Shortly after they leave, Harry & Peter are taking before MJ tackles Peter and simply go: “go ask her out!”

Very frantically and sort of runs off to go with Liz, who happens to be her other BFF (MJ is nerdy but hides it most of the time. Only her and Harry have sympathy for Peter in School). Peter will sort of wonder off in a daze before suddenly FORESHADOWING YAY! And there’s “Harry’s Dad” who comes to pick him up and is awfully polite/creepy with Peter. 8D There’d be some rushing I guess but on the whole, I guess it would kinda work. This sort of first half hour introduces everyone. (5 minutes on the fight scene, 5 at Aunt May’s, 10 at School and 10 for our next section!) 

Which is: the Daily Bugle. I loved the Bugle in the first 3 set of films. They got it spot on. But, I would still try and add its own flare. Parker would not only be taking photos of Spider-Man but he’d be writing the Daily Bugle blog…Along with the “Spider-Man Tracker” Blog too. Because that sort of thing is modern and one of touches that once again I enjoyed from Ultimate Spider-Man and could be translated quite nicely. 

When suddenly there’s a report of mysterious kidnappings, Peter Parker gets very suspicious. Immediately, he starts snooping around so he can write the blog but also so he has a Spider-Man hunch about things. Now THIS is the trickiest part of my first “film”…How you would lead to the villain. It’s pretty simple, I guess: this guy from Russia, Dmitri Smerdyakov, has come in to work with the Kingpin on an arm’s deal. Now this reporter called Ben Urich is OBSESSED with trying to catch the Kingpin as he’s such a big crimelord. 

Hell, he even has help from the DA office…Some guy called Matt Murdock (OH THE FORESHADOWING!) But he even believes that businessman Wilson Fisk is this Kingpin guy which Pete thinks is NUTS!

Oh and did I mention Aunt May borrowed money from Wilson Fisk? Yeeeah. So that kinda REALLY SUCKS! Peter goes to stop a scene of gun trading with this Russian and looks for a familiar face (or the face that was described) but cannot see it in the crowds anywhere. However, he does see Wilson Fisk and manages to snap a photo of him at the crime scene. Which then gets published. WHICH MAKES PETER A BIG SHOT FOR A SECOND IN THE PAPER! But then makes the Kingpin really mad. So he turns to Dmitri, who has turned up with a different face on-screen (before hand, we saw a file photo of some guy. Now it’s completely different). 

Dmitri and Kingpin figure out who has caused this photo to be published by looking at CCTV and seeing Ben & Peter on the cameras. Dmitri then cackles and goes: “Aside selling weapons, I have another ability”. Then there’s this shot of Kingpin being horrified then smiling and there’s a shadow of a face being taken off. We then cut to Peter, who feels on top of the world and gets enough courage to ask out Gwen Stacy. She’s taken aback but agrees and they agree to go for a date on Friday night at cheapest place that’s still classy too.

Peter then is slinging about town before suddenly, he sees a group of criminals attacking Ben Urich and quickly FRIENDLY NEIGHBOURHOOD SPIDER-MAN, TO THE RESCUE! Only when that happens, Spidey is suddenly attacked massively by Ben Urich, who definitely is not Ben Urich. He says: “I am the first of many” during this epic street-fight scene. Peter’s freaked as he sounds EXACTLY like Ben. And suddenly, Peter Parker feels incredibly nervous as he fights him and is hesitant about trying to beat him up. 

This fight scene is interrupted when he hears reports that somewhere in Queens, right where Peter lives; there's been an attack on an old woman. Spider-Man frantically leaves and is sloppy enough for a tracer to placed upon him by "Ben Urich". Aunt May is left in a battered state and rushed into hospital; this is vengeance for two reasons: the publishing of the photo Peter took and of late payments.

Peter SO MAD. He runs out of the house but before he can do anything, he bumps into MJ. She says that Harry’s trying to wrangle some money around and he goes; “I don’t want your charity, MJ!” but she doesn’t really take that smack talk. And as she comforts him, hell even convincing him to still go on his date, there’s this moment where you go as an audience: “Hey wait a minute---THEY’RE SUPPOSE TO BE TOGETHER, OH MY GOD!” But that moment is suddenly destroyed when they have to move along.

It goes to “Ben Urich” once again and suddenly he takes off his face and goes is a complete white mask. He’s on the phone with the Kingpin who goes “you’re really quite the Chameleon, aren’t you?” And BOOM fanservice. He smiles and goes: “Phase one complete. I wish only my brother were here—” #2 FANSERVICE! Kingpin rushes him along. Then suddenly…He changes to a mask of DUN DUN DUN Harry Osborn.

We cut to where Kingpin is; who by the way is on Payroll because there’s no real evidence yet but we see a gagged up Ben Urich. There’s some lameass joke about “freedom of the Press” or some shit and then suddenly, we see Harry Osborn next to him. Then Harry heads into school, where Peter seems to be recovering ever-so-slightly with the company of Gwen but to the shock of everyone, Harry goes and asks Peter & Gwen if he can double-date with them on that Friday with Mary Jane! They agree and between then and the Date, there is not much of note that happens. 

Peter looks into the harrowing background of Dmitri and also notices Ben’s absence since the fight. He also happens to realise that the kidnappings happening earlier in the plot (YES, I REMEMBERED THOSE) happen to be related to whenever Dmitri has turned up in the vicinity. They reappear for a moment…Only to transfer money to the other missing people’s accounts which then go to a mystery-account.

And just as Peter gets into his mystery? He’s ordered away from the computer to go and report Fisk beginning his time in court. Heading along with another reporter, Ned Leeds (F.A.N.S.E.R.V.I.C.E) and there’s a small report before suddenly BOOM a figure attacks the mob and BOOM there it is: Spider-Man wailing around trying to kill the Kingpin. And Peter is so-mad but even he wouldn’t go that far! He quickly changes to costume and begins a fight with this doppelganger and really starts to lay into him, only to have the two battle it out really furiously and have Wilson Fisk not have any attention on him so no one happens to see him starting to make a getaway. 

This angers everyone but there’s so much confusion over Spider-Man, he’s ruled as a menace by the city! Peter runs off and just as he manages to change into his normal street-clothes? He bumps into “Harry Osborn” who leads him right to where Fisk wants him: to the building that the Kingpin occupies. Suddenly, Harry Osborn takes off his face and reveals a white masked man and Peter dramtically cries: “but…How?!” And this guy just cackles before suddenly grabbing his very own Peter Parker face mask. 

The following scene is: THE DATE! Chameleon-Peter goes to meet MJ and starts hitting on her to start then explains that “Harry’s gonna be a while”. We have a cut-scene to where Peter, Ben Urich, Harry Osborn and other people who Chameleon/Kingpin have kidnapped. Peter is trying to subtly get out as soon as possible. Then, back to the date where Peter is behaving like an ass to Mary Jane and then afterwards to Gwen Stacy.

Peter eventually breaks out, get Harry to lead people through and then says he “has to go and take care of something” then donning his Spider-Man costume on, goes to try and find out where the bad guys are. ‘Cept the only problem is, he suddenly realises where Chameleon gets off to. Before heading out to the date, he comes across a room COVERED with masks of faces. He realises that Chameleon isn’t just some guy working for Kingpin but is really freaking insane. Spidey also figures out that there is a reason why not only Peter Parker was targeted but Harry too….

And it involves his Father Norman, who just so happens to know where the kindappers are and gets his own security to bust in (this happens kinda in the background, we suddenly see a SWAT team busting in of sorts). Spider-Man breaks into the date, starts fighting Chameleon and really kicks his ass this time, trying to get answers. But he just starts rambling about he is everyone and really quite nutty. I’d definitely have a creepy effect going on here. Then we’d get Wilson Fisk and Norman Osborn talking about the fact they “had a deal” and then Fisk says “it was the crazy Russian!   

He’s obsessed at replacing not just impersonating!” It’s then cut off with the police/explosions and the sort. We go back to Chameleon and Spider-Man’s fight, only to have them sparring before finally; Peter takes his facemask off to see the white mask beginning to crack after damage. He starts raving: “DON’T YOU SEE, I AM EVERYONE. EVERYONE. EVERYONE!” And then is unconscious. MJ & Gwen smile slightly at Spider-Man before he keels off in pain/manages to get away. Okay, so there are dramatic slow mo scenes of Fisk in trial and getting away free, of Chameleon getting arrested and of Harry’s return and finally – we see the four on a date. 

Then it goes “1 Month Later” and the first thing on the screen is a Daily Bugle article saying “FISK FREE OF ALL CHARGES” then it zooms out to Peter reading, with a small print near the photograph of “By Peter Parker.” Harry then congratulates Peter on making the front page on something again besides Spider-Man and suddenly, Peter asks Harry if he thinks his Father maybe involved with Wilson Fisk in some way. Harry shakes that comment off and they all go off when their girlfriends (Harry’s being MJ, he really DID like her. I want to highlight that this is so outlined that I’d have more detail on Chameleon’s obsessions) and Gwen Stacy. 

It sort of ends happy but Peter realises – Chameleon wasn’t the only whackjob out there with an almost supernatural ability.

AFTER THE CREDITS

We see darkness and the shape of a strange elf-like face. It’s in a dark room between Wilson Fisk. It goes as follows:

Wilson Fisk: “So, Chameleon is gone. There are others of course…But does this give you good measure on where that vermin stands?”

Mysterious Figure: “Yes…And I think this one’s for me at this rate – hahahahahahahah!” (Evil laughing and cuts off!)

Or something like that, with the Green Goblin’s face getting a glimpse of screen time. And basically, that’s my first film. The choice of villain inspired by Amazing Spider-Man#1. This is an outline so if full of plotholes, it’s a “draft I”. It’s a legist of what I’d do. Stay tuned for Spectacular Spider-Man and Ultimate in Parts 2-3, along with a couple of positions I might put people in!