Marvel's Civil War: It's time to talk.

I dunno how but I ended up in debate with Herbert about Superheroes and Captain America came up and I was like: AW HELL NAW CAPTAIN AMERICA IS AWESOME

Anyway it got me thinking about this Story Arc called Civil War. Okay so you're all lame I'm assuming and have no idea what that was about and so because I'm a kind blogger I'm going to write out a brief summary. So this supervillain (ah there we go have I had a sandwich and it's given me the jump-start) called Nitro goes to Connecticut while he's fighting these guys that no one since the 80s gave a crap about called the New Warriors and they're so lame now that they have to have a TV show to get any sort of publicity. But all of a sudden because no one actually gives a shit, most of them are killed when freaking Nitro just blows the shit out of EVERYONE. This huge event happens which just doesn't please anyone and it's SO similar to 9/11 and I'm just sat there riding like: WTF Marvel, WTF.

I think everyone was like that in-universe over this event because they just killed a boatload of people too (not literally but 606 people were killed - 6 of which superheroes).

But what makes this worse is the fact that a year ago or so, Spider-Man, this big black guy called Luke Cage, Wolverine, Daredevil and Nick Fury (who's white in the main universe - Ultimate/Movies he's Black). They all go on this HUGE covert operation mission thing and it pisses off the rest of the US and they're like: Guys, seriously. What the hell are doing. Which then leads to everyone flipping out EVEN MORE when there's this huge thing about the "Secret War" (name of the mission that those heroes were on) and this just pissed everyone off. Including the United States Congress, I have no idea why they were annoyed. I dunno why they were because frankly wouldn't you want them focusing on the economy but y'know WHATEVER.

So Congress made this act called the "Superhuman Registration Act." Requiring all superheroes to register their identity and work for the Federal Government. Some people are against it, 'cause it's like: "Oh PATRIOT ACT AND SPYING AND ALL THAT" and others are like: WELL FREEDOM MEANS COMPLYING OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT, YEAH. And this creates a rift. ANyway, it's passed because of Stamford (finally remembered where in Connecticut) and because of the Secret War. Errybody get so mad because what makes this worse is that Iron Man supports it. Then he gets Peter Parker to take off his mask to EVERYONE to "show support". Then Captain America, surprisingly, is against it. So he forms one army, then Iron Man forms another. Then superheroes just BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH. SERIOUSLY - JUST BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER.

And then Iron Man wins. But I think this arc is brilliant yet at the same time terrible. Because the idea, in and of itself, is excellent. But I'll explain along the way why the execution was just so bad. BUT I got thinking about the way I would do it. Via explaining what I'd change, I'll explain where it went wrong/inform you about comicbooks. I don't do that often enough:

1) Captain America, as much as I love the character, is conservative as hell. Now being Right Wing doesn't necessarily mean you'll cage up mutants, arrest your friends and clone Thor (all things Iron Man did) but it does mean you wouldn't just go right against your ideologies. I call ridiculous writing on the idea Cap was "defending freedom." I think he was because stuff like this is why I hate Government but Captain America would have stuck by the Government. Iron Man, on the other hand, would've tried to rebel. He's a privatised businessman! Sure, in the comics he was Defence Secretary for a while but it makes very little sense that we have him on that side. So, I would've had it written that Captain America was about the "preservation of freedom" while Iron Man would say "it's a volunteering service of defence, then can f*** off."

The arc itself would've ran better. It makes more sense that at the end, Cap could've become Director of SHIELD. I think part of the reason he got turned into the Anti-Registration Side (the name of 'his' Army) was because they wanted to kill him off. But think about it: Captain America goes out of his way to really push his argument that the Government of America knows best, soon as he's about to be made new Director of SHIELD *bam* he's killed by brainwashed Sharon Carter. This would be such a whole on the entire thing and really break everything down. Iron Man works as an ass but the whole "Greater Good" idea that he had was just very, very insane. It made him a villain in my eyes and that just didn't work whereas Steve Rogers would just be serving "The American Way".

2) Spider-Man: The role of Spider-Man was mishandled. Just before Civil War, he'd lost his family home so him, MJ and Aunt May all lived together in Avengers Tower (the Tower was the 'New Avengers' HQ. It was also Iron Man's tower). They had Tony Stark make him a new costume after he died and his got ruined. So, he wore the "Iron Spider" suit that happened to be bugged so that Tony could record his every move...Just in case he switched sides. Tony made him pledge to stand by his side no-matter-what. Then he asks him to unmask? But doesn't really help with the backlash that happens (Bugle suing Spidey, Debrah Whitman writing a smearing book, his teaching job at the time being ruined).

The ending for Spider-Man's story had him switch to Captain America's side so Tony Stark just stopped helping him. Eventually, Aunt May is shot by Kingpin, making Spidey go INSANE then he eventually does a deal with the Devil to get rid of his marriage in order to save his Aunt's life. Now, don't get me started on this. While Rants & Rambles is my place to rant I will just rededidcate this blog to smearing that arc. It was terrible. The idea Peter would do it, the idea MJ would agree, the idea that THIS was considered, THE IDEA THAT IRON MAN JUST WOULDN'T HELP AT ALL. It was ridiculous. And it angered me more then anything. His role shouldn't have been done like that.

My Spider-Man's role would have him aligned with Iron Man, no-matter-what as he promised prior but with the Avengers themselves on the run from the Avengers Tower. I'd have Peter conflicted because he has so much care for Captain America but then Peter wouldn't know what to do. There'd be no "poster boy for Registration" and Peter would have a simple role at first before wanting the safety of his family...Turning to the Registration side. This would change his alignment, piss of Tony SO much and then we'd possibly have him unmask on TV to show support, only for his family to be then injured, kidnapped by super-villains who now finally know his identity.

This would make far better story telling, as we'd really have a conflicted Peter Parker. The Government would throw Peter's identity out and have him really be the dividing argument between the two, which leads me to my next point...

3) Neutrality at it's finest: No opinions. Well, maybe opinions. But done properly. I would release exactly 8 issues of Civil War (as a main story). There'd be #1 focusing on both sides, #2 On Pro-Registration, 3# Anti-Registration, #4 Pro #5 Anti #6 Pro #7-8 Both. If I have to, I'd get different writers writing the parts to the story because it'd be such a waste having one side better then the other. Civil War ended with Iron Man just being a douche and Captain America being the one we have sympathy for. When actually, Cap got Punisher to kill people. He really got obsessive and was putting everything on the line. It was a real shame that they'd just made Iron Man the worse of two-bad dudes. You needed to be able to argue with a fan on a forum why you were Pro or Anti but in the end, the classical trope won and Captain America became the "Good Guy" while Iron Man was the "Bad Guy.

4) The Ending: I actually didn't mind the ending. Mostly because it made sense. For one thing, Iron Man realised he'd been a douche, let out a lot of the people he'd trapped and then set up the 50 State Initiative, meaning an Avengers for every state (or something similar anyway). There was then a superhero training academy (which makes you scream X-Men but hold on) for future Avengers Candidates. Iron Man was temporarily head of SHIELD with Maria Hill - a fellow SHIELD agent who served as an Anti-Superheroish character within the organisation in comparison to Nick Fury. But...None of this mattered. Because then what happened was the Skrull Invasion, where Skrulls hid as superheroes and then everyone had to become temporal allies only to have Norman Osborn "save the Day" and then become the new head of SHIELD because Tony Stark was incompetent.

My issue here is: that doesn't make any sense. That doesn't make any sense why you couldn't just make two pieces to the universe and have a force properly unite them. I like the idea of a Skrull invasion. But y'know what would've made it for me? That one of the forces in one of the Armies, Pro or Anti, had been a Skrull. Then someone in the other Army also had a Skrull. That would've just made everyone FREAK OUT and realise that maybe there were loads of Skrulls everywhere amongst them, thus beginning the invasion properly. We'd have a dead Steve Rogers just after his victory and then Skrulls just appear out of nowhere. And everyone has to get along to beat 'em.

If they wanted to cover up Peter Parker's identity? After the invasion, lie and say a Skrull was pretending to be Spider-Man. Simple. And this would've just united everything and if people REALLY wanted someone to take over SHIELD, maybe they could've had a Skrull-Norman Osborn alliance in the Government that sudden took over, Osborn becoming head of Super-Military-Defence or something. That would've tied up all rather neatly instead of the shitpile Marvel Comics made with such interesting concepts.

But if that doesn't float ya boat, there was Hulk coming back from an Alien Planet and trying to kill everyone. World War Hulk was excellent, imagine Hulk & some of his Alien friends (such as his advanced aged son) coming down and having to bring heroes together? That would've been an interesting read too. I feel like they should've joined together at the end, having a real evil to fight. Not just each other. And if there was more of a swing for Anti-Registration (such as I, even without arguments. I don't think we should all be on some list somewhere for the Government, that goes for real life too) the go for that. Everyone goes suck it and eventually, people have to accept that.

I want to say too, I'd have rewritten the X-Men tie-in. I'm not sure with what yet because X-Men, like Spidey or Batman, are practically their own universe because everything's so big/so developed. This was my interpretation of what should've happened: Cap on the side of Pro-Registration, Spider-Man switching from Anti to Pro and then ending with the Secret Invasion/Dark Reign all at once. Not to mention the sudden death of Steve Rogers thus SHIELD really not having the time for superheroes under Maria Hill's command (who hell, could even be working for Norman to get him into power. I don't particularly like the character that much).

Now, there ya' go. Some comicbookdom.