Back from my runaway, now to talk about names again.

Names for some reason seems to be a popular theme in my life.

Around 4 months ago I posted something about screenames that I use.  And I thought; "well hey I won't need to post about names ever again." But I think back to before I was blogging and how I wrote something just after I changed my Facebook display name from Xavier to Jones (my real last name). That was back when I was a bit younger and I thought "being the weird kid" was what I was meant to do. And now I look back, chuckle slightly and continue with my campaign of life. But names seem to crop up everywhere.

At Lifebeat, I found within myself the name "Bear" as a 'Spirit Name'. Now, I'm not too sure what this means or what it entails. The person who I was speaking to about spirit names used his as his well, regular name as he felt truly comfortable with it. My spirit name is a reflective of me, really; hairy, tall, standing strong, tired during the winter. And a bear will only attack you if it feels that you're a threat of some sort. It had this big grizzlyness to it that in many ways, I associate with myself. And people can think what they like about that, as spirit names & all that isn't for everyone but that name spoke to me.

Poetically, I say souls exist. I say that something can "touch our soul" because I think it's a combination of that of your mind, body and your feelings. Like; your physical body and the left & right sides of your brain makes up a soul to me. It's what makes you whole. It's more of a symbolic gesture more then anything. But that name "spoke to my soul" after I heard the roar of thunder when I claimed to not have a spirit name. It's some coincidence perhaps but I'm so spiritually intertwined currently that I cannot shrug it off as one. Perhaps that is youth and my current exploration of spirituality for me.

But this post is about NAMES! Again. And my point was; it's amazing how transparent they are. I use to use Xavier very commonly and it was okay. I've gone through a variety of screenames and still continue with my real name and hell, shortened versions of my name to "Ul" and "U". But my name is Durnik first, right? So why on Earth do we as a species fuss so much? As far as we know, we're possibly one of the only species to have developed such a system of identification. Perhaps I'm wrong. After all, I can't speak the languages of over billions of species out there. I barely manage with English and Welsh.

I should be Durnik. In fact, it's a consideration for my new school to be called Durnik. Then there's Ulysses, which is actually an Italian-Roman translation from Ulisse, which is actually an Italian translation from Odysseus. (Some simply etymology for you there). I could be Kenneth too. Or Ken or Kenny. BUT I don't like using Ken or Kenny, I have on my birth certificate Ulysses and my Parents named me Durnik but it is seldom used. Names are just things we assign and we're comfortable using certain names for certain things. Nicknames are produced as a friendly tag for someone, insults as something nasty for you to hurt someone.

And with the internet allowing you to recreate identity? You can come up with a dozen screenames now. I do, I've proven that on a post already. And now I have some strange Spirit name that I can only assume was just some weird coincidence for God to give me another name. Perhaps a "true" name but I really cannot be sure. Just because thunder roared I guess I can't just put all my cards on that? But maybe it was just a calling. I know people who have changed their birth name via legal documents, who use identities and feel more comfortable in them. And they're not doing it to stand out, they're doing it because there's safety in a name.

People believe a name can start your track to finding your identity. But maybe they are just things that accumulate like dust on some bookshelf you never attend to over a lifetime. David Eddings had characters who lived for years and years who seemed to really hold a sense of apathy when it came to the names they had been placed, even with titles of grandeur that are meant to be respected it just becomes all such a farce to the characters. And perhaps that's what names are to me nowadays. So I guess it's time to make a rap up as it's getting very rambly.

Names are things we collect, should be carried and selectively. For then, we can wonder about our identities in real ways and be able to truly explore and really wipe away fundamentals to find out who we are. I carry very little similarities to Durnik, coincidentally a traveller as my Parents intended when calling me Ulysses and vaguely similar to Kenneth. Then Bear? I'm not sure what that means. But I'm sure at some point, at some time, I will know what I'm doing with names currently.