So I've decided for my 'end of year' post to try and do it in three segments so I can abbreviate. This one is the apologies bit that I made no fuss over the fact I've reach the limbo age of teen, 17, in which one can claim to be a child yet justify downing some vodka because you're nearly 18, after all. I've enjoyed this transaction, as it's been rather strange leaving behind 16 - an age I felt I'd settled into rather well, carrying the correct amount of angst to pull it off.
On top of this, I've had Rants for over a year now and made no fuss. I think I'll made a fuss every prime number or something, that'd be a fun tradition to begin. But maybe not. Maybe nothing needed to be said, rants was not there over a year ago or so and now it is, serving as my "message" to the people. Well, outside of all the other sites I'm, which serve as temporary vessels whereas this is my main ship, sort of thing.
Now onto the topic at hand; the end of 2013. I'm not going to lie about this year, as it's easy for everyone to do. People either undermine what they have done or glorify it. By keeping it to the strictest reality one's memory can, you get an honest reflection. And over a period of 365 days, when you really think about it, you probably have done a lot more then you give yourself credit for. Good and bad.
It's like when you've not seen a friend in a while then you tell them what's been 'going on' and you suddenly blank, only over the natural course of conversation being able to update them of all sorts going on. They'll interpret everything going on as very hectic and recognise your accomplishments. You won't. Why? Because it's your life, very hard to do so with your own life, you're living it.
It's why autobiographies are shocking for many, as they realise their lives are readable, eventful things. A lot happened to me, which I'll talk about tomorrow. *Click*
The 30th
OK. So I best get on with talking about the year. Tomorrow's going to be about the future. Today is going to be about the year itself. 2013 was eventful. Every year is, like I said yesterday. But it was eventful as life happened but it wasn't as crazy as it has been. In many ways, it's been a quiet one. The first sixth months I spent a lot of time in "relationship limbo", only to have the last four be "ohgodwhyamIlonely" which are not really two great states to be at all. I had about 2 months break from this in July to August then kinda of thrown into the deep end of reality about it.
That's been tough. But then, I think about what I've accomplished: I did my GCSEs this year -- actually getting good enough grades in them (aside Maths), I found my Path to Quakerim and managed to move school 'successfully'. There were some goodbyes which do feel apt to this day for some people in my life but in many ways, I think my friends and I have bonded in ways that school was limiting us to do so. And then, this has been a year to make several new friends. Moving school does that to a fellow.
I found the move was a big event. I was so settled, or so I thought, only to be whisked away and find myself in a new environment without the friends of yesteryear that I usually had to fall back on. I flutter quite often, it's how I deal with being so extroverted. But my close friends were a safety net, who didn't just had to engage me in debate or whatever and I could just relax. I couldn't just do that with any group of people. But it occurs to me, despite theatrics, I am an honest person and that made life easier. So many new people I've met, such an excellent, thriving academic atmosphere.
Then the Quakerism. I've been on my path to learn of my light for some 5 months now and it's always changing and developing. I'm more evangelical in my practice of Quakerism, and in many ways aside living by the testimonies of Peace/Love/Equality/Truth, I actually talk more theologically like a Christian - however what I actually believe is very complex. And that's natural. The story my path is quite simple: I turned up at the mountains and believe that there was more, as I looked around at the almost artistic beauty.
Since then, I've found myself being happier as I've answered a lot of spiritual questions. So between that and meeting a bunch of awesome new people, the year has been good to me in a lot of ways. I've opened up spiritually, learning a lot about myself which in turn has meant that the life long friend of me is actually way more likeable. That has kept me strong throughout this year. That I a worth things, that I am not worth other things. And that's honestly why I walk around with an air of exuberance...or arrogance as a lo of other people would call it. Perhaps it is!
2013 was the time I awoke; the time I began to get focused. I want to do things, I have ambitions and I want to be able to follow them through. So that is my year, in a very short manner as I don't have 365 days to relay it to you. But it's been grand, as most times are and I hope it can only better. A lot of people are feeling 2014 as a big year, for some reason I'm feeling like it's the Year of the Great Debate. And I have around...7 hours and 2 minutes until it begins, more or less. The excitement. And tomorrow, I get it'd be "resolutions" but I don't want to be shot out back so tomorrow is about the many tomorrows to come. *Click*.
The 31st
Here we are again.
One of my biggest problems is that in the long run I never know what I want so I cross a lot in my views. It means I develop but also never actually get things done. So what I'm trying to do is make sure that I do have things done. That stories are finished, that poetry makes it past my whiteboard and then my RPG ideas actually become RPGs. Along with this, the extra-notes I plan on doing for school? Actually fucking do them Uly. Each time I've finished something this year, there's been an immense amount of pride and it's worked well. Hopefully, my to do list in 2014 will shrink as time goes on.
Pacing myself, making sure I spend the correct amount of time. I begin things but I want to make sure I see things through. Even if in 2015, 2016, etc means I don't, I want 2014 to count for me finishing everything. And not to be overly-ambitious. Currently; I have an idea for a Doctor Who fic, a Steampunk Fantasy World and Superhero stories. IT's actually just getting it down on paper, I really want to make sure I don't fuck up. Leave "WIP" on every document until I can renamed it finished. (I'd love to go through all the hard drives and dig things up but...Jesus that'd take a lot of time).
I'm not saying anything's going to be fantastic next year because, I don't know. I have a feeling that with Scottish Independence, heated up Right Wing Movements and the General Election not too far away, not to mention a heap of other problems (it'll be interesting to see where Syria is in a year for instance) there's going to be a lot of high-octane debate. I welcome you, our future, to teach us old messages some that one day we may learn something new. That really is all I have to say. Carry on doing what I'm doing, finish things, make sure we get a crack good debate out of events.
Happy New Year's Eve and goodbye to you, 2013 A.D.
*Click*
The 30th
OK. So I best get on with talking about the year. Tomorrow's going to be about the future. Today is going to be about the year itself. 2013 was eventful. Every year is, like I said yesterday. But it was eventful as life happened but it wasn't as crazy as it has been. In many ways, it's been a quiet one. The first sixth months I spent a lot of time in "relationship limbo", only to have the last four be "ohgodwhyamIlonely" which are not really two great states to be at all. I had about 2 months break from this in July to August then kinda of thrown into the deep end of reality about it.
That's been tough. But then, I think about what I've accomplished: I did my GCSEs this year -- actually getting good enough grades in them (aside Maths), I found my Path to Quakerim and managed to move school 'successfully'. There were some goodbyes which do feel apt to this day for some people in my life but in many ways, I think my friends and I have bonded in ways that school was limiting us to do so. And then, this has been a year to make several new friends. Moving school does that to a fellow.
I found the move was a big event. I was so settled, or so I thought, only to be whisked away and find myself in a new environment without the friends of yesteryear that I usually had to fall back on. I flutter quite often, it's how I deal with being so extroverted. But my close friends were a safety net, who didn't just had to engage me in debate or whatever and I could just relax. I couldn't just do that with any group of people. But it occurs to me, despite theatrics, I am an honest person and that made life easier. So many new people I've met, such an excellent, thriving academic atmosphere.
Then the Quakerism. I've been on my path to learn of my light for some 5 months now and it's always changing and developing. I'm more evangelical in my practice of Quakerism, and in many ways aside living by the testimonies of Peace/Love/Equality/Truth, I actually talk more theologically like a Christian - however what I actually believe is very complex. And that's natural. The story my path is quite simple: I turned up at the mountains and believe that there was more, as I looked around at the almost artistic beauty.
Since then, I've found myself being happier as I've answered a lot of spiritual questions. So between that and meeting a bunch of awesome new people, the year has been good to me in a lot of ways. I've opened up spiritually, learning a lot about myself which in turn has meant that the life long friend of me is actually way more likeable. That has kept me strong throughout this year. That I a worth things, that I am not worth other things. And that's honestly why I walk around with an air of exuberance...or arrogance as a lo of other people would call it. Perhaps it is!
2013 was the time I awoke; the time I began to get focused. I want to do things, I have ambitions and I want to be able to follow them through. So that is my year, in a very short manner as I don't have 365 days to relay it to you. But it's been grand, as most times are and I hope it can only better. A lot of people are feeling 2014 as a big year, for some reason I'm feeling like it's the Year of the Great Debate. And I have around...7 hours and 2 minutes until it begins, more or less. The excitement. And tomorrow, I get it'd be "resolutions" but I don't want to be shot out back so tomorrow is about the many tomorrows to come. *Click*.
The 31st
Here we are again.
One of my biggest problems is that in the long run I never know what I want so I cross a lot in my views. It means I develop but also never actually get things done. So what I'm trying to do is make sure that I do have things done. That stories are finished, that poetry makes it past my whiteboard and then my RPG ideas actually become RPGs. Along with this, the extra-notes I plan on doing for school? Actually fucking do them Uly. Each time I've finished something this year, there's been an immense amount of pride and it's worked well. Hopefully, my to do list in 2014 will shrink as time goes on.
Pacing myself, making sure I spend the correct amount of time. I begin things but I want to make sure I see things through. Even if in 2015, 2016, etc means I don't, I want 2014 to count for me finishing everything. And not to be overly-ambitious. Currently; I have an idea for a Doctor Who fic, a Steampunk Fantasy World and Superhero stories. IT's actually just getting it down on paper, I really want to make sure I don't fuck up. Leave "WIP" on every document until I can renamed it finished. (I'd love to go through all the hard drives and dig things up but...Jesus that'd take a lot of time).
I'm not saying anything's going to be fantastic next year because, I don't know. I have a feeling that with Scottish Independence, heated up Right Wing Movements and the General Election not too far away, not to mention a heap of other problems (it'll be interesting to see where Syria is in a year for instance) there's going to be a lot of high-octane debate. I welcome you, our future, to teach us old messages some that one day we may learn something new. That really is all I have to say. Carry on doing what I'm doing, finish things, make sure we get a crack good debate out of events.
Happy New Year's Eve and goodbye to you, 2013 A.D.
*Click*
